don't rain on my parade.

i know, i know. i promised myself, that i would get over it.
that i'd swipe it of my memory, and that i'd forgive you nonetheless. and i will.
but i can't help but vent. because truthfully, it hurts.
no matter how hard i try to explain and find excuses for your actions
i can't help but feel the umbrage lying splat in my heart.
you and jesse may be my friends now, but you don't know me well enough to go dish dirt on me.
especially not to jesse's mother. no, you don't.
i should probably stick up for myself, defend myself, and act back.
that would be ethical, and more or less, fair.
but im not, because im better than that. and i was hoping highschool would bring us past that.
but i guess we're not.
we're all still the same. just kids who live off of gossip and drama, even though we try to be discreet about it.
and yeah that sucks, how we call each other friends and yet you stab me in the back.
sure, i understand jesse's case. im not biased or anything, but guys are just like that.
and he's probably not used to ditsy girls like me. messed up, yet understandable.
but with your case, it dissappoints me. because despite your cutting bluntness,
i tried to look past it and see you as a friend,
but instead you have me second guessing our friendship.
how could you, no, how dare you. you don't know me well enough.
no, you definitely dont. and i dont know you well enough.
and i was hoping that we would get to know each other more,
but you just created a fence between us. a boundary that is now inpenetrable.
and you flushed my trust down the drain. and maybe perhaps our friendship.
if you cant accept me, then whatever.
i don't need any more two faced people or fakers in my life anymore.
im way beyond that and it's inflicted too much pain on me.
so if you don't like me, oh well. move on. and don't ruin high school for me.

anddd now that i've vented... i forgive you.